The ordinary life of an invisible man

 

To disappear, or not to disappear?  That is the question.

Everyone else seems so good at moving on.  It's easy, right?  You make new friends, new inside jokes, new secrets, new stories, and eventually the new and the unfamiliar become real life.  You have been replaced by a doppelganger.

I don't want to be replaced.

I'm not sure why I feel so betrayed.  It's like, I expect everyone to miss me all the time, to be miserable now that I am not a piece of their life anymore, no matter how small that piece might have been.

I say, "You promised me.  You promised it would always be this way, we would always be this way.  I would always be this way."

But all I hear back is, "You're foolin' yourself kid, I never promised you anything."

And for some reason, I'm determined to be the last man standing.  I'm determined to be the last one to let go.  So I can rub it in everyone's faces I guess.

"Hey look, traitors, I kept my promise.  I held on longer than all of you."

And they'll say, "Hey, Shug, we never promised anything, remember?  And remember?  We even warned you we would be leaving you.

Have fun back in 2010 by yourself."

Don't worry though, the past isn't my only friend.  The future and I are like, besties.  We hang out all the time. And he promises me everything.  Pretty kids, a pretty husband, a pretty kitchen, a pretty house with a pretty garden, and in 5 years time we'll be pretty darn happy.

It's only the present that scares the cuss out of me.  I guess that's why I avoid it as much as I can.

I wore my hair in pigtails today and for some reason that's important.

-Shug